Cowards!

This showed up yesterday on the new blog that Grandma's Attic, errrr, I mean "Linda" started. I commented but she wouldn't approve it, so I thought I'd put it here, since they seem to LOVE to read MY blog!

Silence Broken

For the past month or so, I have tried to keep my silence
about someone that we tried to incorporate into our forum on PeoriaSpeaks! and
embrace with our friendship. Some think of us as the evil liberal progressive
forum and like to come stir up trouble. Others know us as just some regular
folk that like a smaller venue than some other local forums. But, we have
become like a family. And with that family comes the responsibility of
protecting them.

You see, our forum is not a public forum for commercial
purposes. It is a private forum. And while we try to welcome as many as we can
to it, our members have come to try and vent about life and not have it spread
out all over cyberspace. And we attempt to keep the drama to a minimum. But
sometimes, personalities clash. Just like in a family.

That happened recently. Some members felt that a few people on
another forum were being unjustly being beat up on for their more liberal or
progressives views and invited them to PeoriaSpeaks! The
female that had been invited turned out to be all fluff and no substance when it
came to posting comments. (I'm not saying she has no substance...just not on
our forum. I actually think she is a very strong young woman who is doing the
best she can with her situation.) But then she personally attacked me and some
others. It completely disturbed the harmony we attempt to maintain. So, she
was banned. It seemed simple. It's just a small social forum, after all. One
of about a bazillion in cyberspace.

The male that had been invited, her boyfriend/father of her
children, seemed pretty cool. He seemed to actually contribute to the
conversations. So, things were good. For a time being. And then, he started
clashing with some other members. A few of us tried to play referee, to no
avail.

The SO and I have an annual 4th of July party with our friend
Howie. We invited quite a few of our friend from the forum, in addition to the
regulars we invite - family, work friends, neighbors, friends outside of the
forum, etc. You know, like a normal party. I had my reservations about
inviting the female's boyfriend/baby's father, because I really didn't want any
trouble. I mean, this was at our house and I am very protective of the people I
invite to my house as well as my family. I'm sure anyone could understand
something that simple and basic.

But, I decided to stick my neck out for this guy. I mean, it
seemed as though he was having a very difficult time and could use some
friends. So, I sent the invite. And then, all hell seemed to break loose.

It soon occurred to me that decorum was not in this man's
vocabulary. His arch-nemesis on our forum and he started battling over his
seemingly constant depression over his situation, while not really doing
anything to help his situation himself. Then, he posts a thread on the forum
about the party, like it was a forum meet-up and not a private party in a
private home with private invites, and for some reason alleges that the invite
may have been rescinded, which it had not.

As a matter of fact, I even told him he could invite a friend
of his from the other forum, as I usually get along with everyone, and thought
it might make him feel more comfortable. They had become good friends and I
wanted him to have a good time. She did come after some discussion with another member and I really wished I had had more time to get to know her. She seemed really nice.

The party was a lot bigger than I realized, since it was also a
combination party for my daughter's birthday and her friends came too. I didn't
have a chance to really sit and talk with anyone, except my mom, whom I made a
point to sit and talk with before it got too crazy. And crazy it got.

A lawyer friend of mine knew that it was a kegger party
(clearly on the invite) and since he doesn't drink beer, he brought his own
bottle of Jack. Well, the boyfriend/baby's father guy bums his Jack. Ok, not a
big deal. But then, he totally insults another friend by basically saying she
was fat and not attractive (such a hoot, as I don't know many guys that would
kick her out of bed for eating crackers!) and wondered why any guy would want to
meet her. Of course, the entire time he and a founding forum member are
basically at each other's throats. (An oil/water thing with those two.) And
then, the final topper, our neighbor and his live-in girlfriend come over and he
starts to pick a fight with him. So completely embarrassing and totally
uncool. Somehow, everyone else acted like complete adults!
Amazing.

So now, the week after the party, I admit I am quite ticked
off. But, a few of the guys on the forum don't seem to mind him, so I try and
maintain my composure. This was NOT to be. Instead, he and the founding forum
member continue to go at it on the forum and our shoutbox. After an entirely
long, frustrating, depressing day in court, I go with the SO to meet Howie, have
a brew and watch the Cardinals on TV. I pull out my little Asus and check the
forum to make sure it hadn't blown up, and it was blowing up. He and she were
going at it on the shoutbox and I had had enough. He had to go.

Was this an easy decision? No. And yes. No, because I hate
banning anyone. Yes, because she's been a member since day one and has become a
very, very good friend to a lot of us. And to me, it was a choice between her
and him. I chose her. Do I regret it? No. And since then? Nothing but
crap.

This guy goes and writes a blog post whining and bitching that
we were not compassionate, sympathetic, and basically that we were the devil.
Or at least three of us. And then proceeds to call us everything but white
women. And trash talks us and puts us down and tells lies and rumors and claim
various other crap told to him by people who don't even know us. And he still
is. Well, I say enough.

Hipkat, you are not hip. You are not cool. We all had
sympathy and compassion for you. But not every second of every single day. Our
forum and shoutbox are our escape from our jobs, family, and needy friends.
Most of the people on our forum work daily with needy people. I am sorry it
didn't work out, but get over it already. We were your friends. But friends do
NOT take advantage of friends. And, you must be a friend to have friends.

Quite simply, you were banned from a private social forum.
It's not the end of the world. You have other forums you belong with people who
will give you the compassion and sympathy you so desperately need. For various
reasons, some people just don't get along, whether it be in real life or on the
internet. It just happens. But it's kind of pathetic when people make a big
deal over something like that. (And for the record, I've never been 'Anonymous'.)
And rather than vent and post vileness, if we were your 'friends' as you claim, then you would pick up the phone and call. Or email directly. You wouldn't be going on every site you can to post your nasty comments. That's what real friends do.

But now, I've finally had my say. My silence has been broken.


And here's my response, paraphrased and edited, since I didn't save it at the time:

Let's get a few things straight. There was no fight between your neighbor and I because I never talked to him. But let me point a few things out about him. #!, he was locked up most of his youth in a mental institution. #2, while in there, he was disciplined repeatedly for trying to have sex with the female residents. #3, his father blew his brains out. #4, he has my kids' mom's name burned into his hand with paper clips and #5, what he did to her in high school was reprehensible and obviously Katie knew something about it, because she told me, after pointing him out, not to believe everything that I've been told.

Secondly, I never made fun of anyone's weight and I fi I did, I want to know who and what was said.

Third, your friend offered me the jack, because Brick asked him to. I didn't. I was happy drinking beer, and I even backed off on it when he filloed my entire glass.

Fourth, Rix and I made a few jokes based on the "ballbreaker" thing we had laughed over.

Fifth, stop lying to make yourself look better, which, btw, is why you had your license to practice law suspended.

Sixth, stay off PDC. No one wants you there. More people don't like you than do.

Seventh, your "liberal forum" is a joke and you people are ban-happy! Everyone from PDC that doesn't come and kiss your ass gets banned.

Seventh, there were no problems at all at the party, until Rix decided to start blasting me over my situation, which, again, is MY situation that YOU people all showed an interest in, and still don't get the fact that dealing with it was a bitch!

Eighth, stop talking about me, and then being too pussy to post my comments.

Peoria Speaks

The drama, oh, the drama.

Peoria Speaks (PS) is a message board, local to the Peoria, IL area, and is a spin-off from the message boards found at peoria.com (PDC).
It was started by the renegades who, for some reasons or other, had gotten banned from PDC.
When Bridget and I discovered PDC, she was not so well received there, and because we shared an IP address, we were both banned. I did manage to convince the administrators that, since I had no problems there, to allow me to return.
In the interim, we found ourselves invited to PS by one of the honchos from that board, a teacher from East Peoria.
The site is run by a local attorney and has a cast of regulars that cover every part of this area.
I liked that site alot, and was well received and because of the ongoing problems I have with Bridget, who wore her welcome out at PS pretty quick, too, was shown alot of understanding and felt like I was taken in as part of the group.
In theory, this is supposed to be the less judgmental, clique-free, liberal message board, and that's my kind've place.
We got together for a baseball game, I was given the idea to start his blog from the people there, and I just liked everyone.
Little did I know.
As the weeks went by, the people at PDC warmed up to me more, and I made some good friends there too. I believe that this was the root of the animosity that began to surround my presence at PS. The warm welcome was turning into a cold shoulder, which began it's culmination last weekend, when I was invited to a party at the lawyer's beautiful house.
Without going into too many details, several things happened that night.

First, I was asked why I had come to Peoria and I relayed the story of the demise of my trucking company, my early failure at Home Improvement sales, the eviction from our apartment, all leading up to us coming to Peoria.
Apparently, telling the story was a bigger deal to several people at the party, who were not part of the conversation, but had overheard it.

Secondly, Bridget's high school boyfriend, who it turns out lives across the street, showed up.
This is a guy that did bad things to her and my instinctive reaction was to want to kill him, but I didn't. I ignored him, and told the person who let me in on who was know that I was freaking out inside.

Thirdly, towards the end of the night, teacher and others decided it was time to tell me exactly how fucked up I was in my dealing with the situation at home.

Now, none of these things seem like a whole lot, but apparently, they were. Because several days later, I was literally attacked in the PS shoutbox by the teacher, who loves to tell me how fucked up I am by not murdering Bridget in her sleep and hanging the body out by the curb for the world to see. How I'm apparently a wimp, because I choose to try and keep things amicable, instead of building even more anger and hatred between each other.

Over the course of the next few days, I was reminded by the teacher over and over of just how fucked up I am, which culminated in her leaving the deleted comment on my last blog entry, which basically called me an asshole for having Cable TV, when I'm having financial issues.
I don't see cable as a luxury. I have kids, and I never leave the house, so to me, cable is another utility, a necessity, and that's it. It's my choice to pay for cable, and if anyone has a problem with that, then I apologize, but it's my problem, not theirs.
After seeing the comment, I went to PS, and sent the teacher a message asking her to just not acknowledge me or anything I post. Just to basically leave me alone. Then, as I perused the board, I saw she had put up a post apologizing for the shoutbox fight, the week before, but NOT for the comments made since.
Apology acceptance is up to the person who receives the apology, not the person who delivers it. Apologizing is admirable, but it doesn't make the wounds automatically heal. Yet I was lambasted for not immediately accepting her apology and apparently I was supposed to beatify her, which I totally did not do!
But, after a time, I relented, cooled off and apologized back, and then all hell broke loose. Snide, rude comments from the lawyer, from the teacher, and from the board primadonna, the bird lover, who shocked me the most as I have displayed nothing but admiration for this woman.

I will admit right now, that my apology was weak as I really feel that I have nothing to apologize for. I'm constantly told that what I'm going through is nothing compared to what these poor martyrs have endured. Regardless of what anyone HAS gone through, I'm going through it now, and it's not easy, but it makes it worse when your suspected friends go all out to make you feel insignificant. Make you feel that your emotions are not real, or are overblown.

Then today, after a final attempt to apologize and move on, I was told I was banned, although I wasn't and I decided to just leave.

These are my final thoughts to these people:
Teach, you're a bully. As is the case with most bullies, you have shortcomings, and your hobbit-like figure is the least of them. You can't stand to see someone else going through a hardship without making them know that you endured much worse and that they should just grin and bear it. That is selfish and insensitive. I thought we were friends which to me means that no matter what the circumstances are, as a friend, you should be sensitive beyond all else. It's no wonder your best friends are fellow bridge trolls.

Lawyer, you disappoint me the most. You're a lawyer who doesn't understand reason. How is that even possible? You offered me understanding and friendship and then pulled it back the moment I began to depend on it. That's just dirty and shows your true colors as self cengtered bitch, who can't stand it when she doesn't get her way or gets called out.

The both of you and your audacity to tell me how I'm supposed to feel, and react and what I'm supposed to say is pure arrogance and it's disgusting. You don't know me, nor did you ever really want to, which is fine, because now, you never will.

Bird lover, you disappoint me the most, because I held you in very high regard, as a regal, classy lady who knew how to shine, even though I KNEW what you had been through, and your disgusting comments to and about me were uncalled for and a sure sign of ignorance and weakness. I know what goes on in your house. And it's a shame that you call ME a joke. At least you have a nice big house to show off when you're hiding your black eyes and bruises.

You three are the very example of everything you accuse the folks at PDC of being. And as much as you try and make people believe that you don't care about PDC, you sure have a knack for knowing everything that hapens over there as soon as it happens. Pure jealousy and regret are so evident in your actions. You're so wrapped up in your own self-image, that you're not able to see anyone else for they really are. Only for who you want them to be and when they don't fit your vision, you attack.

There are great people on PS that I'm going to miss alot. And that's pretty much everyone I didn't name.
I would have liked to have gotten to know you all better, but that won't happen now.

And, by the way, you're so insecure about yourselves, I give it less than an hour before this blog is talked about between you.